Life is moving along quickly and Spring has been absolutely beautiful. The April showers have brought us some beautiful flowers. I planted some pansies in pots for the front porch and they are blooming beautiful colors. The warm beautiful weekends we have been having have left us and cooler air has moved in. There are frost warnings out for the next couple of nights. It would not be Spring in the north without frost teasing us. The pansies like cool weather but not frost, so I'll have to protect them the next couple of nights.
We have not wasted any time getting outside and enjoying Spring. We have been on two bicycle rides on the bike paths and everything is blooming. The air smelled of lilacs this past weekend and the Bradford Pear trees are in full bloom. The Dogwoods and Eastern Redbuds with their splash of pink have painted the landscape. I wish we could freeze frame this time of the year. It is so beautiful and it surely has chased away the winter blues.
I was smiling this morning as I awoke to birds singing, and I was thinking that life is really a beautiful miracle. It has been five years now since my husband's Cancer reared its ugly head and it now seems so distant. We have become stronger and are enjoying life. We have made a lot of changes in our life, and as the saying states, "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger". It is so true that when you allow yourself to find a lesson learned from life experiences you will find peace with yourself. Everyday is cherished despite the challenges and if you have china in the cabinet use it today, because everyday is a special occasion. I eat my breakfast on my china every morning. I realized two years ago that I liked the china and I wondered why I was only using it for holidays. I have taught my husband a lesson on looking at everyday as the holiday. He use to buy clothes and wait for a special day to wear them and they would hang in the closet or stay in the store bag until the tags turned yellow. A closet filled with new clothes with tags on them is only benefitting someone else who will be looking good after they buy our clothes from the thrift store. If you buy something it is because you liked it and it is meant to be used everyday. Life is a special occasion and it is meant to be celebrated everyday.
Release the past, learn from everyone you meet and treat everyday special. Tomorrow is only a dream, but today is a dream come true.
Life is beautiful allow your mind to live your dreams!
Elizabeth:)
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Friday, April 10, 2015
Spring Is A Renewal Of Life
Spring has sprung and the wrath of Mother Nature has taken its toil. We have been extremely lucky that the storms that have moved through our area have not caused any damage. The hail yesterday pelted our windows in the house, but it didn't cause any damage. The grass has finally turned green from all the rain and the green foliage and shrubs have turned a beautiful green. I saw hosta peaking through the ground and two tulips have come up. It is so nice to see everything come back to life. Despite the thunderstorms, Spring is my favorite season. It is a beautiful time of the year that reminds us how precious life is.
My prayers today are for a college student who was struck by lightening two evenings ago. He was walking around outside at a local campus. Other students that witnessed him being struck said they heard the lightening as it struck him. He is in critical condition and we pray that he will be able to recover. An important reminder to seek shelter when we know these storms are approaching.
On the news late last night they said a storm that was moving through Illinois and produced 2000 plus lightening strikes in fifteen minutes. These storms are violent and all warnings should be taken seriously for our own safety.
We have been blessed that we have escaped the bad tornadoes that have destroyed parts of the Midwest. We did however have one tornado touch down ten miles from us six days ago. It had winds of 80 miles per hour and took down trees and a barn. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
The weekend is suppose to be sunny and warm. We all need a break from the rain. I don't want to chase April away, but it will be nice when we get past these dangerous weather systems.
We have managed to get some walks in this week in between storms. It feels so good to be outside and getting some exercise. My husband and I are looking a forward to doing some more walk-a-thons. Hoping to raise some more money for Cancer research.
Stay safe wherever you are and enjoy the beauty of Spring. Life is beautiful and watching everything come back to life reminds us that miracles do happen and our faith in living everyday to the fullest is renewed.
God Bless all Cancer Patients!
Elizabeth:)
My prayers today are for a college student who was struck by lightening two evenings ago. He was walking around outside at a local campus. Other students that witnessed him being struck said they heard the lightening as it struck him. He is in critical condition and we pray that he will be able to recover. An important reminder to seek shelter when we know these storms are approaching.
On the news late last night they said a storm that was moving through Illinois and produced 2000 plus lightening strikes in fifteen minutes. These storms are violent and all warnings should be taken seriously for our own safety.
We have been blessed that we have escaped the bad tornadoes that have destroyed parts of the Midwest. We did however have one tornado touch down ten miles from us six days ago. It had winds of 80 miles per hour and took down trees and a barn. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
The weekend is suppose to be sunny and warm. We all need a break from the rain. I don't want to chase April away, but it will be nice when we get past these dangerous weather systems.
We have managed to get some walks in this week in between storms. It feels so good to be outside and getting some exercise. My husband and I are looking a forward to doing some more walk-a-thons. Hoping to raise some more money for Cancer research.
Stay safe wherever you are and enjoy the beauty of Spring. Life is beautiful and watching everything come back to life reminds us that miracles do happen and our faith in living everyday to the fullest is renewed.
God Bless all Cancer Patients!
Elizabeth:)
Friday, April 3, 2015
Letting Go Of The Past Gives Us Life
I do apologize to my blog readers for my ranting about emotional distress and what others have said to us. I have released it to the universe. They say you should never blame others for your own reactions to what they say. It does not mean they are not responsible for their words and actions. It does us no justice to dwell on what they say. The past is the past. Life is good these days and that is what maters the most.
I have talked about triggers before that evoke feeling inside of us. The documentary the other night and a recent visit with my husband to a doctor visit triggered some very raw emotions. I realized that they are triggers and perhaps they were testing me. I thought about them and realized that they are not going to hurt me. They only have power if I let them.
I actually feel very well and happy today. My husband said to me last night that he appreciated all that I have helped him with over the past five years. He said if the roles had been reversed, he is not sure he could have done as good a job as I have. I am so proud of him as he is taking control of his heath issues. He has relieved a lot of emotional stress from me by educating himself about his health issues. He is taking responsibility for his life. It is difficult for me as a nurse when loved ones want me to make decisions for them. I can support their decisions and help educate them, but they have to make their own decisions. It puts a lot of emotional distress on me or anyone when expected to carry the weight of all the emotional burden.. I love him too much to carry a burden around and then to think I made a wrong decision for him.
So the past is history and I am so excited about the weekend. We are going to celebrate life, after all that was the goal of the long journey with Cancer. We learned to be grateful for every moment that we have. We are thankful for all the doctors who keep searching for those cures.
Happy Easter! Life is beautiful !!!
Elizabeth:)
I have talked about triggers before that evoke feeling inside of us. The documentary the other night and a recent visit with my husband to a doctor visit triggered some very raw emotions. I realized that they are triggers and perhaps they were testing me. I thought about them and realized that they are not going to hurt me. They only have power if I let them.
I actually feel very well and happy today. My husband said to me last night that he appreciated all that I have helped him with over the past five years. He said if the roles had been reversed, he is not sure he could have done as good a job as I have. I am so proud of him as he is taking control of his heath issues. He has relieved a lot of emotional stress from me by educating himself about his health issues. He is taking responsibility for his life. It is difficult for me as a nurse when loved ones want me to make decisions for them. I can support their decisions and help educate them, but they have to make their own decisions. It puts a lot of emotional distress on me or anyone when expected to carry the weight of all the emotional burden.. I love him too much to carry a burden around and then to think I made a wrong decision for him.
So the past is history and I am so excited about the weekend. We are going to celebrate life, after all that was the goal of the long journey with Cancer. We learned to be grateful for every moment that we have. We are thankful for all the doctors who keep searching for those cures.
Happy Easter! Life is beautiful !!!
Elizabeth:)
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Cancer Documentary Gives Patients Hope For Better Treatments
I am excited about the weekend coming, as we are going to be spending time with family. We will be celebrating birthdays, Easter, and most importantly life. Everyday is a wonderful gift and a reason to celebrate. My family is healing and my practice of daily gratitude has brought many wonderful days to us. We have taken the difficult times in life and learned to turn them into a passion to help others struggling with Cancer.
My husband and I spent the last three evenings watching the documentary, "Cancer: Emperor of All Maladies". It was wonderfully produced and a great depiction of the book by Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee. I applaud all the people who brought this biography to life. It was nice to put faces to the doctors and researches that were apart of Cancer's history. Thank you doctors for your compassion and continual research to find treatments and cures for Cancer. You have given hope to all people, because as we have learned Cancer does not discriminate.
I have to admit that as I watched the documentary a lot of raw emotions were brought to mind. I was able yesterday to share some of my feelings with friends. Of course there were tears and moments that I cursed Cancer and was reminded of some very painful memories of the suffering that my family has endured. My friends have been touched by Cancer also, and we rallied together and found great comfort in celebrating that we are strong and grateful to have each other for support.
I glanced at my husband the last couple of evenings, as he watched the documentary. I could feel his emotions even though we spoke no words. I wish I could take away all the worry and emotional pain a Cancer patient feels. I also wish I could take away all the pain I feel as a caregiver and spouse. Even when a patient moves into survivor category, the fear of Cancer returning is always on their mind. My husband said to me once that the emotional pain was worse than the Cancer itself.
I appreciate the people that let themselves be filmed while getting devastating news of their Cancer diagnosis. I also applaud the compassion of the doctors that were dealing with the patients and family. For those of us who are caregivers for our spouses we are dealing with a lot also, and it was good to see that these family members were treated with respect.
I was very emotionally burned out when I was caring for my husband and it was very difficult to let myself be heard. The guilt that you carry inside you when you know that you can not stop what is happening is beyond overwhelming and you loose your self worth and identity. When I was finally able to let myself talk about my fears and feelings, it didn't go to well. I felt things really changed with the care my husband received. I was shamed and humiliated by some health care professionals. My husband was very aware of what I was dealing with and the way I was treated really upset him. We have been together for 39 years and we are no different than most married couples that face life threatening illnesses. We feel free to express our deepest feelings and occasionally argue with each other. We do depend on each other despite the fact that a social worker at a prestigious Cancer Center told me that I was too dependent on my husband and shouldn't rely on him for self worth. I would like to say to her, "Please keep your opinions to yourself and when you have been married as long as we have, then you will understand that loosing the love of your life is like cutting out your heart". Life is not always a bed of roses and when you are faced with Cancer, you become very vulnerable and your life will never be the same. No one should ever be shamed for their feelings. I thought that in this day and time that we were beyond this. It takes educated and experienced people to help Cancer patients and their families face the mental issues that happen.
I have been very blessed to have been in a marriage of 35 years, that has survived 18 years of living with Cancer and all the other problems that have occurred from it. When you love someone and have a trusting relationship with them you are able to work through those moments when you are not thinking clearly and have said things that have been misunderstood. It does take the help of experienced health care professionals to get through these tough times. My advice is never let a health care professional make you feel ashamed of yourself. We re all humans and our feelings need to be validated. I am glad that I was able to rise above all the shame and keep moving forward to help my husband and myself. I have learned not all heath care professionals are the same and it does not matter what they think of us. What matters is how they are able to help us when we are so vulnerable. They need to be subjective and supportive for all involved to help healing begin.
I have beat myself up mentally for placing trust in some people at one of the best Cancer Centers in the US. I realize that they have some great issues of their own that need addressing. Trusting health professionals to help you through these difficult times is how we continue to enjoy life for what ever time we have left here on earth. I am glad that I was able to find support here at home, but a lot of heartache could have been avoided if we had gotten the support we needed at the Cancer Center. We are thinking more clearly now and we are healing emotionally. Now we are facing some important decisions as to where we should continue to receive care. Cancer care does not stop in remission. It is a lifetime of care planning to stay healthy and to be monitored for other Cancers and health problems that arise from all the chemotherapy. We need a team of people who show some compassion and can realize that the care they give us is as individual as each case of Cancer. No one reacts the same to treatment, as no one reacts the same emotionally. It takes a strong team of people to realize this and set their own personal feelings aside. I hope that speaking about this will help others to find a team of people that they can trust and that they can feel free to discuss the issues that arise with Cancer or any life threatening illness. Our life is too precious to be in the hands of someone who tells us they don"t have time to care and they can not handle your emotional burden. These are words that really hurt. Especially when they come from a social worker at the top Cancer Center. I trusted this person with some very emotional pain. If they can't handle the pain, then perhaps they have chosen the wrong profession. Also, they should have referred us to someone who could help. Cancer is too overwhelming to bear alone.
Your life belongs to you and you deserve to seek out the best care you can get. No patient or caregiver should ever be shamed. Thank you, Dr. Mukherjee for showing us that there are people who do care.
One last comment, "Thank you to my husband who has battled cancer on and off over the last 18 years". You are my hero and together we will find a team of people that will help us fight for life. I pray everyday for my husband's continuing remission and all people who are battling Cancer. God Bless you all!
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
My husband and I spent the last three evenings watching the documentary, "Cancer: Emperor of All Maladies". It was wonderfully produced and a great depiction of the book by Dr. Siddhartha Mukherjee. I applaud all the people who brought this biography to life. It was nice to put faces to the doctors and researches that were apart of Cancer's history. Thank you doctors for your compassion and continual research to find treatments and cures for Cancer. You have given hope to all people, because as we have learned Cancer does not discriminate.
I have to admit that as I watched the documentary a lot of raw emotions were brought to mind. I was able yesterday to share some of my feelings with friends. Of course there were tears and moments that I cursed Cancer and was reminded of some very painful memories of the suffering that my family has endured. My friends have been touched by Cancer also, and we rallied together and found great comfort in celebrating that we are strong and grateful to have each other for support.
I glanced at my husband the last couple of evenings, as he watched the documentary. I could feel his emotions even though we spoke no words. I wish I could take away all the worry and emotional pain a Cancer patient feels. I also wish I could take away all the pain I feel as a caregiver and spouse. Even when a patient moves into survivor category, the fear of Cancer returning is always on their mind. My husband said to me once that the emotional pain was worse than the Cancer itself.
I appreciate the people that let themselves be filmed while getting devastating news of their Cancer diagnosis. I also applaud the compassion of the doctors that were dealing with the patients and family. For those of us who are caregivers for our spouses we are dealing with a lot also, and it was good to see that these family members were treated with respect.
I was very emotionally burned out when I was caring for my husband and it was very difficult to let myself be heard. The guilt that you carry inside you when you know that you can not stop what is happening is beyond overwhelming and you loose your self worth and identity. When I was finally able to let myself talk about my fears and feelings, it didn't go to well. I felt things really changed with the care my husband received. I was shamed and humiliated by some health care professionals. My husband was very aware of what I was dealing with and the way I was treated really upset him. We have been together for 39 years and we are no different than most married couples that face life threatening illnesses. We feel free to express our deepest feelings and occasionally argue with each other. We do depend on each other despite the fact that a social worker at a prestigious Cancer Center told me that I was too dependent on my husband and shouldn't rely on him for self worth. I would like to say to her, "Please keep your opinions to yourself and when you have been married as long as we have, then you will understand that loosing the love of your life is like cutting out your heart". Life is not always a bed of roses and when you are faced with Cancer, you become very vulnerable and your life will never be the same. No one should ever be shamed for their feelings. I thought that in this day and time that we were beyond this. It takes educated and experienced people to help Cancer patients and their families face the mental issues that happen.
I have been very blessed to have been in a marriage of 35 years, that has survived 18 years of living with Cancer and all the other problems that have occurred from it. When you love someone and have a trusting relationship with them you are able to work through those moments when you are not thinking clearly and have said things that have been misunderstood. It does take the help of experienced health care professionals to get through these tough times. My advice is never let a health care professional make you feel ashamed of yourself. We re all humans and our feelings need to be validated. I am glad that I was able to rise above all the shame and keep moving forward to help my husband and myself. I have learned not all heath care professionals are the same and it does not matter what they think of us. What matters is how they are able to help us when we are so vulnerable. They need to be subjective and supportive for all involved to help healing begin.
I have beat myself up mentally for placing trust in some people at one of the best Cancer Centers in the US. I realize that they have some great issues of their own that need addressing. Trusting health professionals to help you through these difficult times is how we continue to enjoy life for what ever time we have left here on earth. I am glad that I was able to find support here at home, but a lot of heartache could have been avoided if we had gotten the support we needed at the Cancer Center. We are thinking more clearly now and we are healing emotionally. Now we are facing some important decisions as to where we should continue to receive care. Cancer care does not stop in remission. It is a lifetime of care planning to stay healthy and to be monitored for other Cancers and health problems that arise from all the chemotherapy. We need a team of people who show some compassion and can realize that the care they give us is as individual as each case of Cancer. No one reacts the same to treatment, as no one reacts the same emotionally. It takes a strong team of people to realize this and set their own personal feelings aside. I hope that speaking about this will help others to find a team of people that they can trust and that they can feel free to discuss the issues that arise with Cancer or any life threatening illness. Our life is too precious to be in the hands of someone who tells us they don"t have time to care and they can not handle your emotional burden. These are words that really hurt. Especially when they come from a social worker at the top Cancer Center. I trusted this person with some very emotional pain. If they can't handle the pain, then perhaps they have chosen the wrong profession. Also, they should have referred us to someone who could help. Cancer is too overwhelming to bear alone.
Your life belongs to you and you deserve to seek out the best care you can get. No patient or caregiver should ever be shamed. Thank you, Dr. Mukherjee for showing us that there are people who do care.
One last comment, "Thank you to my husband who has battled cancer on and off over the last 18 years". You are my hero and together we will find a team of people that will help us fight for life. I pray everyday for my husband's continuing remission and all people who are battling Cancer. God Bless you all!
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
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