Monday, May 22, 2017

What I Learned About Why Men Don't Go To The Doctor

This blog writing is dedicated to the men in my life that I love.  The men who make me laugh, cry and sometimes irritate me.  They are the ones that drive me crazy and then giggle and say that it is a short drive.   They are my heroes and my life would not be complete without them.  I am writing today in reference to them and going to the doctor.  The medical issues that I have helped them deal with are what sent me into situational stress and sent me fleeing to the doctor.  I can laugh about it now as some things do seem a little comical when I think back.  I have however become aware that men think differently about going to the doctor.   I believe it is in their DNA to think they are invincible of getting ill.   They would rather drive their loved ones crazy complaining about an illness than seek help form a doctor.  Seeking help involves a lot of emotional vulnerability.  It involves letting others know that sometimes you are NOT  Mr. Macho Man.  LOL!

Speaking on a serious note, I know some men who absolutely refused to go to the doctor and died from something that could have been preventable.  There are lot of factors that influence the mentality of some men.  I watched a video at the doctor's office about why men men are hesitant to see a doctor and what we women can do to persuade them.  It was enlightening.  I have also read some articles about why men don't go to the doctor and I have to laugh as I have heard a lot of the reasons from the guys in my life. 

After reading many articles, it was the general consensus that the number one reason men don't go to the doctor is, men rationalize the medical problem will go away.  I have heard this one too many times.  I call it sticking your head in the sand until it's too late to come up for air.  I don't want them to run to the doctor for all the little scrapes and bumps.  I do however want them to get physicals especially as they age and follow the doctors advice for needed preventive medicine.  I can not fix you and no matter how much I know I do not have the means to.  You have to let doctors help you.  Other reasons for failure to see a doctor included anxiety over test results, a belief that men are stoic and don't get sick, medical care is too expensive ("I could have spent the money golfing." LOL!), and previous bad past experiences with the doctor.  The list goes on and I have heard them all and I must confess that I have probably used an excuse at one time or another myself.

So how do we women get them to complain to the doctor and not us.  We have to make them understand that we love them and their health in the long run hurts us.  It sends us on a short drive to insanity.  We want them to be healthy and be around to enjoy the good times.  We don't want to hear I should have gone to the doctor earlier.   We must lead them to the doctor and go to appointments with them and let them know that we are there to support them.  I have however tried to skip appointments with them as I have anxiety over knowing my loved one is ill.  I thought it would stop the worry if I didn't know what the doctor said, however I found these lovable men to tune out what ever the doctor says and then ask me to call and find out what they are suppose to do.   I can't win for loosing.  All I know is that I love them.  If you are lucky enough to have guys that need you to direct them to the doctor and love you for doing so, then you are one lucky lady.

Life is Beautiful !!

Elizabeth:)

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