Yesterday was the anniversary of the passing of my mother-in-law. She died from cancer that originated in her breast and metastasized to her lung and liver. It was as painful to watch her wither away from cancer as it was my own mother. She has been gone now eleven years. Her death was clearly from the cancer, as she had begged us to not let the doctor order any more treatment. Her quality of life was very poor. She was too weak to walk or eat. Her last days were spent in a hospice facility at the age of 68. The kindness and compassion of the nurses is what I remember the most.
I personally feel that with all the greed that is going on the world today that we have lost the empathy and compassion that patients want. They want to know their options and they want a doctor that will give them some quality of life in their remaining days. Palliative care that will ease any discomfort they have and help them in their final days. We had to beg for the palliative care for my mother and it was denied by a doctor. He told our family it was his job to do any treatment to keep her alive despite the severe suffering she was in. He offered no palliative care and would not sign any papers to allow hospice to help her or us. She died two days later. He would not speak to us and a nurse told us that he was there to generate money for the hospital. Her death is one of the most gruesome deaths I have witnessed as a nurse. It was greed of the hospital and administration.
I have witnessed greed one too many times in last couple of years. We need drugs to help cancer patients conquer their cancer. Patients need drugs that don't leave them bankrupt and unable to live the rest of their life.
We need oncologists to help cancer patients with a survivorship plan once they are in remission. A plan that will give them the best quality of life. My husband's oncologist of three years said there was no such thing as a survivorship plan on two different occasions. My husband has been left with the burden of side effects that affect his daily life and the anxiety of an uncertain future. I guess the institution got their money and doctor reminded us his job was to prescribe chemotherapy and no more. The NCCS states that all cancer patients should receive a comprehensive summary and follow up plan from their doctor. This plan will help them improve their health and the quality of life. Google the NCCS to view the elements of the survivorship plan. So I wonder whose job is it to ensure that a patient has a survivorship plan. These great ideas always look good on paper, but they only work if they are instituted by the cancer center and the oncologist in charge of the patient.
Cancer is not just prescribing a drug to kill the cancer. It is a life long partnership with a doctor that you have entrusted to help you live a quality life.
We have learned our lesson that large institutions may give us hope for a cure for cancer, but their false advertising of anything beyond the chemotherapy was just a bait. Or was it just a burned out doctor ?
God bless my mother and mother-in-law ! You have given me strength and purpose to make sure that patients are receiving the quality of life they deserve.
Life is beautiful !
Elizabeth:)
Friday, May 26, 2017
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Tornado
When my children call the house after nine in the evening, I get a little concerned. I was sitting last night on the sofa resting after a busy day and the phone rang and startled me. The caller ID revealed my daughter was calling which made my heart do a few skips. She never calls late not unless an emergency. She started by saying are you okay. I replied yes what's up. Next she said, " Do you hear the sirens?" I thought what sirens it sounded pretty quiet. Then she said, "You and dad better take cover because there is a tornado on the ground coming towards you." I immediately turned the television on and to my surprise she wasn't lying. All I could say was holy crap. In all my years of living here, I have never been the victim of a tornado. We gathered some personal items in a backpack and prepared to bunker down in closet under our stairs. I called my dad and warned him as he had no clue either that we were even under a warning. Then my son called and we were all worried. The tornado was moving at 20 miles per hour in direct path of us and by some miracle it shifted and went north west of us but did some destruction 4 miles from our house. Thank goodness no one was killed by the tornado as it made its way north. It just missed my brother-in-laws house and they lost power. We are all thankful today, but not all is clear yet. As I was writing this a bad storm has moved through the area. We are expected to have more storms through the evening.
We have had such weird weather and the humidity has been bad. I found out that we didn't hear sirens because our community doesn't have any. My daughter lives close to an airforce base and she heard their sirens. I will be on guard this evening as these storms are packing high winds and lots of rain.
You never know from day to day what will happen. Another lesson learned live your life to the fullest.
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
We have had such weird weather and the humidity has been bad. I found out that we didn't hear sirens because our community doesn't have any. My daughter lives close to an airforce base and she heard their sirens. I will be on guard this evening as these storms are packing high winds and lots of rain.
You never know from day to day what will happen. Another lesson learned live your life to the fullest.
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Monday, May 22, 2017
What I Learned About Why Men Don't Go To The Doctor
This blog writing is dedicated to the men in my life that I love. The men who make me laugh, cry and sometimes irritate me. They are the ones that drive me crazy and then giggle and say that it is a short drive. They are my heroes and my life would not be complete without them. I am writing today in reference to them and going to the doctor. The medical issues that I have helped them deal with are what sent me into situational stress and sent me fleeing to the doctor. I can laugh about it now as some things do seem a little comical when I think back. I have however become aware that men think differently about going to the doctor. I believe it is in their DNA to think they are invincible of getting ill. They would rather drive their loved ones crazy complaining about an illness than seek help form a doctor. Seeking help involves a lot of emotional vulnerability. It involves letting others know that sometimes you are NOT Mr. Macho Man. LOL!
Speaking on a serious note, I know some men who absolutely refused to go to the doctor and died from something that could have been preventable. There are lot of factors that influence the mentality of some men. I watched a video at the doctor's office about why men men are hesitant to see a doctor and what we women can do to persuade them. It was enlightening. I have also read some articles about why men don't go to the doctor and I have to laugh as I have heard a lot of the reasons from the guys in my life.
After reading many articles, it was the general consensus that the number one reason men don't go to the doctor is, men rationalize the medical problem will go away. I have heard this one too many times. I call it sticking your head in the sand until it's too late to come up for air. I don't want them to run to the doctor for all the little scrapes and bumps. I do however want them to get physicals especially as they age and follow the doctors advice for needed preventive medicine. I can not fix you and no matter how much I know I do not have the means to. You have to let doctors help you. Other reasons for failure to see a doctor included anxiety over test results, a belief that men are stoic and don't get sick, medical care is too expensive ("I could have spent the money golfing." LOL!), and previous bad past experiences with the doctor. The list goes on and I have heard them all and I must confess that I have probably used an excuse at one time or another myself.
So how do we women get them to complain to the doctor and not us. We have to make them understand that we love them and their health in the long run hurts us. It sends us on a short drive to insanity. We want them to be healthy and be around to enjoy the good times. We don't want to hear I should have gone to the doctor earlier. We must lead them to the doctor and go to appointments with them and let them know that we are there to support them. I have however tried to skip appointments with them as I have anxiety over knowing my loved one is ill. I thought it would stop the worry if I didn't know what the doctor said, however I found these lovable men to tune out what ever the doctor says and then ask me to call and find out what they are suppose to do. I can't win for loosing. All I know is that I love them. If you are lucky enough to have guys that need you to direct them to the doctor and love you for doing so, then you are one lucky lady.
Life is Beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Speaking on a serious note, I know some men who absolutely refused to go to the doctor and died from something that could have been preventable. There are lot of factors that influence the mentality of some men. I watched a video at the doctor's office about why men men are hesitant to see a doctor and what we women can do to persuade them. It was enlightening. I have also read some articles about why men don't go to the doctor and I have to laugh as I have heard a lot of the reasons from the guys in my life.
After reading many articles, it was the general consensus that the number one reason men don't go to the doctor is, men rationalize the medical problem will go away. I have heard this one too many times. I call it sticking your head in the sand until it's too late to come up for air. I don't want them to run to the doctor for all the little scrapes and bumps. I do however want them to get physicals especially as they age and follow the doctors advice for needed preventive medicine. I can not fix you and no matter how much I know I do not have the means to. You have to let doctors help you. Other reasons for failure to see a doctor included anxiety over test results, a belief that men are stoic and don't get sick, medical care is too expensive ("I could have spent the money golfing." LOL!), and previous bad past experiences with the doctor. The list goes on and I have heard them all and I must confess that I have probably used an excuse at one time or another myself.
So how do we women get them to complain to the doctor and not us. We have to make them understand that we love them and their health in the long run hurts us. It sends us on a short drive to insanity. We want them to be healthy and be around to enjoy the good times. We don't want to hear I should have gone to the doctor earlier. We must lead them to the doctor and go to appointments with them and let them know that we are there to support them. I have however tried to skip appointments with them as I have anxiety over knowing my loved one is ill. I thought it would stop the worry if I didn't know what the doctor said, however I found these lovable men to tune out what ever the doctor says and then ask me to call and find out what they are suppose to do. I can't win for loosing. All I know is that I love them. If you are lucky enough to have guys that need you to direct them to the doctor and love you for doing so, then you are one lucky lady.
Life is Beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Friday, May 19, 2017
Happy 60th Birthday !
Happy 60th Birthday to my husband. We wondered if we would see this day and here it is. We are celebrating life definitely with a shout out and thank you to all that helped him get here to this day. He gets all the credit for courage and strength and a love of life. He was shocked at age 40 when he was diagnosed with a blood cancer and scared when it returned at age 50 and we are happy to say he is a survivor at age 60. These two decades have flown by and are filled with memories some good and some bad. We can not change the past but we can celebrate the present. Everything before today is part of our life story. We move forward with gratitude and wisdom. There is not anything more wonderful than hearing your heart beat. I love you always and forever my dear sweet husband !
Everyday is a celebration of life and we must try to be optimistic so we don't miss the good times. So, I went out today and bought some flowers. Smiles from God are everywhere. To me flowers symbolize life and their beauty is astounding. They heal my soul. The only thing missing today is our dear sweet Laney. My husband and I mentioned this morning how much we miss her. Hope there are lots of flowers in heaven.
Let's have a drum roll and sound the trumpets for all cancer survivors. God Bless you all !
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Everyday is a celebration of life and we must try to be optimistic so we don't miss the good times. So, I went out today and bought some flowers. Smiles from God are everywhere. To me flowers symbolize life and their beauty is astounding. They heal my soul. The only thing missing today is our dear sweet Laney. My husband and I mentioned this morning how much we miss her. Hope there are lots of flowers in heaven.
Let's have a drum roll and sound the trumpets for all cancer survivors. God Bless you all !
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Learning About Our Own Bodies To Live Healthy
Today is the anniversary of the death of my mother. She has been passed for thirteen years. The time has gone by quickly. I now know so much more about her health as I searched for answers as to what her medical problems were. Perhaps if we could turn back time and we had known everything we know now, she may had a better quality life and a longer life span.
She was always a very high strung person, a type A personality. She developed Sjorgrens disease after she had a hysterectomy and was placed on synthetic hormones until her death. I am to believe that no one during her life time had checked her hormone levels. Current research is showing that women that develop autoimmune diseases have imbalanced hormones. It appears that their DHEA levels are very low. There is a correlation that the adrenal glands are to stressed and they overproduce cortisol and the DHEA production falls. She had classic symptoms of low progesterone and low DHEA. There are a few reliable test to check the hormones. Without any testing other than a RF factor which was positive and a biopsy of a salivary gland that was removed, no testing for adrenal stress or hormones was conducted. She was placed on high doses of prednisone 100 mg per day which she was kept on for many years. She was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis and Raynaud's also.
I believe that her high strung personality which was present from a young age had a bearing on the high level of anxiety she had. She over taxed the adrenal glands and without the production of progesterone that we produce from our ovaries and adrenals she was left with no means to control her anxiety. I also learned that people with Sjorgrens are more likely to develop Non- Hodgkin's lymphoma especially with a positive RF and Raynaud's. I am so glad that I took upon myself to find a doctor that understood the correlation behind the unbalanced hormones. We look at our parent's health history to learn about how to take care of ourselves.
At the time of my mother's death she was on fifteen different medications. Her own immune system was attacking her. She had been to an oncologist that was puzzled by her out of whack blood counts. He dismissed her and in a last ditch effort my mother went to a major cancer center. She would never reveal the results to me and it was after she passed that we found reports that confirmed lymphoma. At short time before her death she was diagnosed with Pyoderma gangrenosum of her legs. Her immune system had shut down and she was in organ failure and passed away in the ICU.
I made it my mission to try and piece this all together to help others. I went through testing that insurance companies will not pay for. I feel that her death was a lesson that the bodys' hormonal system plays a big role in our health. You throw off one thing in the body and you have problems. Stress is a major factor and throwing those adrenal glands into a tisy of overproduction of adrenaline will upset the hormonal balance.
My stressful life I had a couple of years ago had stopped my production of progesterone and menopause had made it worse. With help of a doctor that understood all this I was able to balance my hormones and rest my adrenals until they healed. I am happy to say that I have had everything checked again this year and my adrenals are working beautifully and I been weaned off hormones. My body is doing what it is suppose to do. I sleep well and I feel calm. My anxiety has gone and when there are stressful times my body is able to cope. It did not happen over night and has taken a lot of my own will to change my lifestyle.
I gave up anything that I thought was causing my adrenals to over work. I gave up caffeine and food with MSG. I now read labels on any food that is processed and try to stay away from restaurant food that is packed with MSG and sodium. Thank goodness I like to cook. I have also exercised to help rid myself of stress and learned to shift my thoughts away from things that upset me. The mind is powerful thing and your thoughts can trigger the release of adrenaline. I had to take some supplements under the direction of a doctor to get my body back on track. It was all well worth it. Today I went for a yearly check up with my family doctor and all is well. I am on no medications and not bad for an old lady LOL!
My mother's own anxiety issues could have been the very cause of the painful life she lived. I still cringe when I think of all the medications she was put on to combat the side effects of each of the other medications. It was an awful death that could have possibly been averted. More medicine is definitely not better.
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
She was always a very high strung person, a type A personality. She developed Sjorgrens disease after she had a hysterectomy and was placed on synthetic hormones until her death. I am to believe that no one during her life time had checked her hormone levels. Current research is showing that women that develop autoimmune diseases have imbalanced hormones. It appears that their DHEA levels are very low. There is a correlation that the adrenal glands are to stressed and they overproduce cortisol and the DHEA production falls. She had classic symptoms of low progesterone and low DHEA. There are a few reliable test to check the hormones. Without any testing other than a RF factor which was positive and a biopsy of a salivary gland that was removed, no testing for adrenal stress or hormones was conducted. She was placed on high doses of prednisone 100 mg per day which she was kept on for many years. She was also diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis and Raynaud's also.
I believe that her high strung personality which was present from a young age had a bearing on the high level of anxiety she had. She over taxed the adrenal glands and without the production of progesterone that we produce from our ovaries and adrenals she was left with no means to control her anxiety. I also learned that people with Sjorgrens are more likely to develop Non- Hodgkin's lymphoma especially with a positive RF and Raynaud's. I am so glad that I took upon myself to find a doctor that understood the correlation behind the unbalanced hormones. We look at our parent's health history to learn about how to take care of ourselves.
At the time of my mother's death she was on fifteen different medications. Her own immune system was attacking her. She had been to an oncologist that was puzzled by her out of whack blood counts. He dismissed her and in a last ditch effort my mother went to a major cancer center. She would never reveal the results to me and it was after she passed that we found reports that confirmed lymphoma. At short time before her death she was diagnosed with Pyoderma gangrenosum of her legs. Her immune system had shut down and she was in organ failure and passed away in the ICU.
I made it my mission to try and piece this all together to help others. I went through testing that insurance companies will not pay for. I feel that her death was a lesson that the bodys' hormonal system plays a big role in our health. You throw off one thing in the body and you have problems. Stress is a major factor and throwing those adrenal glands into a tisy of overproduction of adrenaline will upset the hormonal balance.
My stressful life I had a couple of years ago had stopped my production of progesterone and menopause had made it worse. With help of a doctor that understood all this I was able to balance my hormones and rest my adrenals until they healed. I am happy to say that I have had everything checked again this year and my adrenals are working beautifully and I been weaned off hormones. My body is doing what it is suppose to do. I sleep well and I feel calm. My anxiety has gone and when there are stressful times my body is able to cope. It did not happen over night and has taken a lot of my own will to change my lifestyle.
I gave up anything that I thought was causing my adrenals to over work. I gave up caffeine and food with MSG. I now read labels on any food that is processed and try to stay away from restaurant food that is packed with MSG and sodium. Thank goodness I like to cook. I have also exercised to help rid myself of stress and learned to shift my thoughts away from things that upset me. The mind is powerful thing and your thoughts can trigger the release of adrenaline. I had to take some supplements under the direction of a doctor to get my body back on track. It was all well worth it. Today I went for a yearly check up with my family doctor and all is well. I am on no medications and not bad for an old lady LOL!
My mother's own anxiety issues could have been the very cause of the painful life she lived. I still cringe when I think of all the medications she was put on to combat the side effects of each of the other medications. It was an awful death that could have possibly been averted. More medicine is definitely not better.
Life is beautiful !!
Elizabeth:)
Friday, May 12, 2017
It's National Nurses Week
If it hadn't been for a friend posting on Facebook about National Nurses Week I would have never known. Thank you to a friend that sent me a post to say Happy Nurses Week. I must never forget that even though I am not out there working that I am still a nurse. I miss those days of feeling like I had helped others even if they were stressful at times. My life as a nurse is still being put to use as an advocate and caregiver to some special guys in my life. They are my heroes. I love them both and I am happy to say they are doing well.
Thinking back over my career brought back some memories. I have some sad memories and some very happy ones. There are certain patients that I always remember when I want to remind myself that compassion and the hard long days of being a nurse are well worth it. Sometimes we connect with certain people that we never forget. They never forget us either when we show them respect and empathy.
On the other side of being a patient I have to say thanks to other nurses for taking good care of my loved ones and me. One nurse that comes to mind is a nurse that took care of my husband a couple of years ago while undergoing chemotherapy. She did not speak much English, but her compassion was expressed in her mannerisms and smile. My husband and I had a hard time understanding her broken English, but it did not seem to matter. Her smile and her hugs she gave us after a long day at the Cancer Center spoke louder than words. She ended our visit with a surprise to me. She had dropped something on the floor and as I came back up into an upright position to hand it to her, she hugged me and said, "God Bless You." My husband and I still remember her and we hope she is doing well. I also remember one of my husband's nurses that asked me what I did for a living. I said I use to be a nurse and she corrected me. She said. " You are a nurse always and don't forget it." She was right and I am proud to say I am.
Sometimes life takes us in a different direction than what we may have expected, but we should always remember the good things we have lived for. We should be proud if we have been able to help others and appreciate the thanks given to us. So Happy Nurses Week to all my fellow nurses. Our dedication to help others is worth many thanks.
Life is beautiful !!!
Elizabeth:)
Thinking back over my career brought back some memories. I have some sad memories and some very happy ones. There are certain patients that I always remember when I want to remind myself that compassion and the hard long days of being a nurse are well worth it. Sometimes we connect with certain people that we never forget. They never forget us either when we show them respect and empathy.
On the other side of being a patient I have to say thanks to other nurses for taking good care of my loved ones and me. One nurse that comes to mind is a nurse that took care of my husband a couple of years ago while undergoing chemotherapy. She did not speak much English, but her compassion was expressed in her mannerisms and smile. My husband and I had a hard time understanding her broken English, but it did not seem to matter. Her smile and her hugs she gave us after a long day at the Cancer Center spoke louder than words. She ended our visit with a surprise to me. She had dropped something on the floor and as I came back up into an upright position to hand it to her, she hugged me and said, "God Bless You." My husband and I still remember her and we hope she is doing well. I also remember one of my husband's nurses that asked me what I did for a living. I said I use to be a nurse and she corrected me. She said. " You are a nurse always and don't forget it." She was right and I am proud to say I am.
Sometimes life takes us in a different direction than what we may have expected, but we should always remember the good things we have lived for. We should be proud if we have been able to help others and appreciate the thanks given to us. So Happy Nurses Week to all my fellow nurses. Our dedication to help others is worth many thanks.
Life is beautiful !!!
Elizabeth:)
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