Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Life After Cancer

I hope that people out there are remembering to acknowledge caregivers.  If you know someone that is struggling with burnout or needs a hug while caring for someone try to do something nice for them.  Caregivers are heroes that stand in the shadow of illnesses. 

It has been a year now since I sought some medical help to get my hormonal system straightened out.  I can tell you that I no longer feel anxious and that I am sleeping like a baby.  In fact I am probably sleeping a little too much.  It is time for the yearly tune up and I am hoping to find out if those cortisol levels have dropped.  What a difference a year has made.  My thinking is more clear and I am enjoying my life. 

I like to reread my blog writings occasionally and I guess you could say that I am my worst critic.  Our mind always has a way of remembering the negative things in life.  We have triggers that remind us of awful things that we don't like to face.  We however can change and learn from our mistakes.  Of course, we are human and we all make mistakes.  We have to forgive ourselves and move on. 

My last blog writing, I made a statement that there was no life without my husband.  Yes, there is life for me without him.  It was not a wise choice of words. I love him very much and we have a fun life together.  It is hard for any spousal caregiver to imagine life without their significant other especially when you are happy together.   Cancer changes their life and yours.  I have taken the advice of many health care professionals and I have worked on building my own support group.  It has helped me forge some wonderful friendships with people who understand the pain of being a caregiver and the uncertainty of life.

I have not lost my spouse and I am proud to say he is a survivor.  I have lost the life we had.  Cancer changes people's life.  It was not easy when the people and the world around you focus on the cancer patient.  You stand quietly in the shadows  It is easy to feel incredible guilt and anger for what cancer has done to your life.  You are put into situations of dealing with new responsibilities, the after effects of the cancer treatments and the psychological burden it brings.  It also brings financial burden and for some families bankruptcy.  However, we must move forward and live each day. 

I had a strong therapist that allowed me to grieve the loss of life as I  knew it before cancer.  People do not just grieve when faced with death, but they also grieve the loss of life as they knew it.  For me it was giving up my job and loosing some friendships and adjusting to a new way of life with my husband.  When you love someone, helping them through the tough times is worth it.  I have learned that it is all right to ask others to help me. Most people like to help others and sometimes we need to point out what it is that we need.  I think that is an important thing for a caregiver to learn.  I wish I had allowed myself to ask for help  sooner than later, but we learn from mistakes.  Remember, we are human.

We all grow and we all change, and if we survive the changes then we know that anything is possible.  So, yes there is life for me and I am enjoying a new adventure being myself and loving me!  And of course,  I love you my husband.

Life is Beautiful !!!

Elizabeth

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