Today is a beautiful fall day and we are going to have what is called Indian summer. The next few days and next week are suppose to be warm and sunny. I am excited that my husband is coming home early to enjoy part of the day. The daylight hours are getting shorter now and it is difficult to get outside once he gets home from work during the week. All the trees are a multitude of orange, red and purple. A beautiful time of the year to enjoy before winter.
Yesterday I said I would continue to tell my story of how I got to this point in life where I am feeling good and healthy again. It is not just one single thing that brought me to this place in life. If I had to choose one single event in life that brought me to realize my health was important, it would be cancer. I didn't have cancer, but it seemed as if every one I love so much did. So what happens when a family member gets cancer, fear sets in. Your life is no longer the same and the whole family dynamic changes. All of the sudden the body goes into one of the greatest shocks. The person with cancer is in shock, his spouse and children are in shock and everyone who is close to them is in shock.
After living through what I have over the past 4 years I can tell you I know a lot about what STRESS does to the body. It is especially bad when you get stuck in a viscous cycle of stress and fear. If there is not a good support team in place it is awful. Until you actually live it or they say walk in the shoes of a cancer patient, do not judge them. I don't care how far advanced we come with cancer treatment, we all know that sometimes the cancer wins. It has been wonderful that my husband is still here 17 years later, but that fear of the cancer returning always lurks in our mind. So seriously stress has caused other health problems.
I have since 2010 realized that not only was my husband stressed out, but I was I trembling with fear. The love of my life was sick again and I was not feeling too well myself. I tried to hide how bad I felt as not to worry anyone else. I was so wrapped up in trying to help my husband that I forgot about helping myself.
As time went on and my husband started treatment for cancer I continued to feel sub par. It was not until we came home from Texas in the fall of 2011 that I realized that I was not myself and feeling like I could just take my last breath. I was tired beyond belief, my heart was pounding and my cognitive functioning was shot. November of that year was probably the lowest point of my life. And as if a land slide had happened I would say it only got worst. That is when I turned to the therapist back here in the north. Winter was coming and my husband was having great difficulty with cognitive problems and I was diagnosed with situational anxiety. It took awhile for therapy to calm me down, but the stress of cancer continued to haunt us. And without any support it turned into a cycle of ups and down. And, it finally climaxed in November of 2013 when I had one of the worst panic attacks ever and became ill. I had that attack right in front of my husband's doctor who exited the room and offered no help from the social work department or other staff. He even grinned, as he said you are having a panic attack. It left me with a very disgusted opinion of what the medical profession has become. And as time went on, it took my therapist awhile to convince me that there are still good physicians in the world. You have to advocate for yourself and loved ones to find those who will help.
With the encouragement of the social worker here at home and the concern that she had for my well being, she helped me and my husband realize that if we are not happy with a doctor then we need to move on. It is very important that you have good communication with your health care team. You need their support and direction to heal the body and the mind.
I followed the therapist's advice and started to advocate for myself to get well. The sad part is that even though I felt bad, the standard medical test done at my physical exams came back normal and I was dismissed with an antidepressant. A pill which caused many other problems until I finally said enough is enough and weaned myself off them. Then I decided with the help of a friend to see someone who practiced functional medicine. She herself had had some similar problems and they had been willing to do some test that a lot of doctors won't do because of insurance.
I seemed to get sicker by the days, as time went on and I felt exhausted. The love that I had for bicycling and walking, etc., had become a chore. Then as if by a miracle I heard an advertisement about a group of women health care professionals who had dedicated themselves to women's health and I called immediately. The very next day my life started to change. It has also changed my husband's life as we have both learned what continuous stress does to the body. I will stop now, as it is time to enjoy this beautiful day with my husband.
My message today is be your own advocate and if you know something is not right with your body keep searching for someone to help you. You deserve good health care.
Elizabeth:)
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