Holding Onto Life After Cancer

I have so many things running through my head that I would like to write about.  Choosing a topic for each day probably wouldn't be difficult, and whether or not anyone cares to read my post will not stop me from writing.  The blog was intended to share a journey with my family and close friends.  It is a way for me to vent and talk about things that are creating a life for me.  It is not a life without challenges or difficult and sad moments.  It is however my life and how I see it.  We all have our stories to tell and I hope my children someday will appreciate the journey they have shared with me.

They say that what does not kill you, can make you stronger.  I believe that my husband and I totally understand that statement.  At least I feel that it really means something to me after the last seventeen years.  I am sure my husband understands it after fighting cancer.  We were scared almost to death in 1997 with his first cancer diagnosis and I mean literally scared to the point I think our hearts stopped beating.  However, when we looked at our children it was like resuscitation and the heart started to beat again.  The fight with cancer had begun.  My husband at the time told our daughter I am going to be around for along time.  I will walk you down the isle on your wedding day when you find someone you love.  And, indeed he did.  For me my fight was being strong enough to pick up slack when he was tired and encouraging him to stay positive when he felt awful from the chemotherapy treatments.  It is hard for both of us to stay positive sometimes when life is so disrupted.  We made it to remission and enjoyed it for about ten years.  And, now once again after treatment we have made to three years of remission.  I am feeling very blessed for each day we are together.

I am not sure that people understood the things we said during our fight with cancer the last three years.  I am not sure that we even understood ourselves at times. The one thing I do know is that each day that passes I get a little stronger and hope my husband feels the same way.  It is hard sometimes to forget the trauma, but each day the memories get a little less and life feels a little less hectic.

I wish that no one ever had to have cancer, but everyone has to deal with their destiny.  One way or another we are all going to leave this earth.  I guess what will matter is how we lived each day, and if we were able to move forward past the trauma and heartache.  Please forgive us if we have seemed a little distant or emotionally unstable.  We have survived the cancer and that bond between my husband and I is still there and stronger than ever.  We are ready to enjoy more life ahead with or without the challenges. 

No mater how deep the hole gets, the rope is there.  You just have to grab it and hold on.  Someone will eventually help you if you let God wrap his loving arms around you.

I love you my husband!
Life is beautiful with you !!

Elizabeth:)