A New Life

It has been a year ago today that I was feeling very confused about my life.  I remember feeling as I had  fallen into a big hole and wondering if I would ever recover.  My husbands journey with cancer had changed us both and sent us in two different directions.  I was feeling scared about his health and the future and possibility of loosing him and being alone.  He was in his own world dealing with his own feelings and sometimes seemed like someone I did not know.  I am now feeling grateful a year later for the advice of a therapist and family doctor back here at home.  The advice was simply, rest, don't be afraid to ask for help, take care of yourself, and rebuild a new life with a strong support group.  At the time I thought even this simple advice was overwhelming.  But, with one small step at a time I have gotten stronger and stronger.

I am now seeing how changing my thoughts and focusing on the positive has changed what has happened in my life.  There are still times when I have wondered about things that happened and perhaps could have handled a few situations differently, but we learn from mistakes.  I like to think now that this cancer journey has left me not taking anything for granted.  I hope my husband feels the same.

The last several months have been filled with some great moments as the advice has paid off.  I love these moments when things come into our life almost like magic.  I guess things do become reality when we start to share our concerns and dreams with others.

My trip to Texas recently has become one of those great moments in life.  I am so blessed by my friends in Texas  that open their home to us, so we have a place to stay when my husband has medical appointments.  Their hospitality and support has been very appreciated . We are very grateful for all they do for us, and I  feel comfortable to share my thoughts and concerns about cancer with them. As a result my friend sent me some information on a MLFT  who is going to speak to caregivers here at home.  I felt this was  Divine intervention.  Because of my friend's ties with family back here , she had assess to the information about the MLFT.  This speaking engagement is defiantly on my calendar. Speak and good things come to you.

I also had the pleasure yesterday of spending time with my Texas friend's parents.  They live here close to me.  Delivering a package to them from Texas proved to be another great moment.  I have known them for probably for 36 years.  Our conversation was about the miracle of life as they had battled a life threatening illness.  My friend's father by the grace of god had survived quite an ordeal that would renew any ones faith. His wife and I shared some caregiver moments which allowed me to see the love and admiration they had for each other.  As I stood to depart our visit, I hugged my friend's mother and it was a moment that left me with great peace.  God Bless them!

So, it is a year later and I am out of the hole.  I have received a medal for completing a half marathon.  I have worked on building my support system.  I am sleeping and pampering myself.  Laney has remained a loyal and comforting four legged friend for which I am very grateful.   My husband and I have been changing some things in our life that has made us stronger.  I am now glad my life is not normal, because it has brought about a lot of wonderful changes.  Small steps and great changes equal no regrets with love and determination.  Life is beautiful !!

Love yourself and others will see your beauty.

Elizabeth