Let's Start Realizing That Suicide Is An Illness

About fives years ago I felt that the purpose of living had no future.  In the midst of complete exhaustion and the thoughts of being alone to live out what ever time I had left on earth I fell in a hole.  It swallowed me like an unexpected sink hole  I was able to recognize that the feelings and anxiety I had were the result of  a messed up brain chemistry from stressful life situations along with autoimmune diseases..  I was a fortunate person that had the strength to speak up and find people to help me.  No one threw a ladder in the hole and pulled me out.   Instead it took a team of people to sort through what I was willing to tell them to straighten out my brain chemistry.  The body is holistic and relies on proper nutrition, exercise, healthy sleep cycles, and sometimes medications to help the brain function normally.  One step at a time I climbed out of the hole and I am incredibly blessed to be standing on the ground alive and living.

My heart is broken for the people that died from suicide.  There seems to be an epidemic of suicide these days.  I want to say from my own experience that I saw many problems along my journey that I feel need to be addressed.  I know first hand that people that have not experienced severe anxiety, depression or feelings of  being worthless do not understand that we need medical attention just like a person with heart problems, cancer, or any other illness.  We should not be shamed for seeking help or have to hide our medical care from anyone for fear of being an outcast.  We don't shame people with cancer, heart disease, diabetes, or many other diseases.  We need to start accepting that our brain needs medical help and is no different than a person getting medical care for any other disease.  Suicide is an illness.

I was amazed to learn that therapist and doctors do not ask patients if they feel suicidal.  My opinion is that when my mind was messed up and I was afraid, I would have welcomed someone asking me about how I felt.  I am amazed that people have taken there own life because they were afraid if they sought medical help it would ruin their careers.  This is especially seen in the medical profession.  You see doctors not getting help for fear it will harm their career.  Believe me when I say your career is over if you don't get help.  I don't want a doctor caring for me if they are not allowed to take care of their own mental issues.  Talking about our mental health is the only way to change the way we view it.

I am a lucky person that did not care about hiding my illness.  I thought many times I am worthless to the myself and others without my health    I was scared and I understand how scared other people are.  The next time someone tells you that they are depressed, stressed out, or feeling worthless, ask them if they need help. Tell them that you are concerned and that they can be helped.  Offer to walk through the journey with them.  Let them know they are not alone and validate their feelings.  Stop the shame.

On a lighter note, there is a beautiful life before you when your health and quality of life is good.  My husband and I became grandparents this week.  I have been overwhelmed with joy.  My husband is beaming with joy and blessed to see another chapter in our life.  After all we have endured in taking care of our health problems we have been blessed with a grandson and another one on the way in October.  Yes, life is beautiful and never to be taken for granted.

Happy Father's Day to all the great men in my life !

Life is beautiful !

Elizabeth:)

Moving On With Life After A Me Too Moment

The past is gone and bringing back bad memories only hurts the person who holds onto them.  Telling the bad memories to someone diffuses the power they hold in our mind.  The Me Too movement is changing the world for women.  Their voices are being heard and it has been a long time coming.  Thank you to the women who have had the courage to stand up to the powerful bullies.  You are paving the way for us to be respected and to have work place violence  protection.

My Me Too blog writing has freed me of secrets that I have carried way to long.  I wish that I had been confident and brave enough to have reported the doctor that assaulted me 30 years ago.  I had buried the pain of that day in my mind and it had paralyzed me in certain situations.   I am reminded of the encounter 30 years ago every time I have encounters with male doctors and it paralyzes me.  It has affected the choices I have made in medical situations and left me feeling worthless.  It was my secret because I feared that the people who loved me the most would judge me.  Until you are a victim you can not understand what it does to your soul.  If you are reading this I hope you never have to be a victim.

The media reports of the Me Too Movement has encouraged me to speak.  Speaking has helped some people I love very much understand my silence and my reluctance to work in the medical profession.  Telling my story has let me heal and move on with life.  I do not know what ever happened to the doctor that threatened me 30 years ago.  I have chosen not to pursue finding him and I have learned a lot about forgiving and moving on with my life.  I can tell people it is better to always report those who violate us even when threatened and yet I know the fear that paralyzes us.  Hopefully this movement is going to pave the way for nurses to have a safe way to report those who violate them.

No one should ever have to live in fear, be shamed or dismissed if they have been sexually harassed in their profession.   Reporting the incidences is only the beginning of a long journey of healing.

The incident is the past, but how he made feel will always be sadly remembered.  

Life is beautiful!

Elizabeth:)