I just lived through the eclipse of the sun and I don't feel any different. I say that because I was watching people's reactions on the TV and there was a lot of emotion expressed as it happened in parts of the US. We only had a partial here and it seemed as if it were just cloudy before a storm. It was very peaceful outside besides the sound of a cricket. I did not have proper glasses to view it so I guess that is why it was not too exciting. I watched it on TV. They are saying we will be able here to experience a total eclipse in 2024. Maybe I will be able to experience the awesomeness of it then.
I have been studying and getting my CEU certificate for my RN license renewal. I choose Death, Dying and Bereavement since that is one of my greatest fears. They always say the way to squelch your fears is to confront them. It has been beneficial as a lot of my anxiety taking care of my husband and dad was precipitated by the fact that they both had incurable illnesses. It is the uncertainty of the disease coming back and knowing that it can be fatal that causes the anxiety. We are all going to die but there is something about someone telling you a time line of life expectancy or an estimated time until next progression of a disease.
I did learn a lot about what is called anticipatory grief. A lot of people think that we only grieve after the death of someone and that is not true. When patients are given a poor prognosis they and their spouse, family and close friends actually go through a grieving process from the anticipation of death. They should not feel guilty over it. They should be allowed to go through the stages of grief as it is a coping mechanism for the mind and soul. It can cause cognitive issues , personality changes, crying, anger and social withdraw. For a spouse or caregiver it is recognized as an impending loss of a loved one and can remind them of the pain experienced when other family have passed away.
I was so able to relate to this topic and I could imagine both I and my husband moving through these stages of grief five years ago. They are denial, anger , bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Yes we are both still alive and my dad also. We still have some anxiety over death which is not unusual and for anyone out there that tries to stop someone from discussing their fears they need to address their own fears.
I still can remember that day that the doctor told my husband he had a poor prognosis. It was Valentines day. I think about that day a lot because of the way the doctor did it. He left the room quickly and stood in the door and said sometimes I need a drink of Jim Beam whiskey. I not sure that was an appropriate way to exit the room and to boot leave my husband and I there with another doctor that we did not know. That was one of the lowest points in life and the other doctor looked as if he wanted to exit quickly also. My husband talks about that day when we get scared. No one was there to help us or let us talk about how we felt. The doctor did ask if we had any questions as he was walking out the door. I think the shock of it left us speechless. That is why I started saying no one cared and believe me when I say that no one should ever be left alone after hearing that. There should have been a social worker present. My only question today would be, " I wonder if you had that shot of Jim Beam doctor."
When I think about all the stress I have lived through and my husband, I want to say that we are strong people. We carried the weight of an emotional burden and that should have been addressed by experienced health care professionals who were caring for my husband. I am sure we are not the first people to have lived through anticipatory grief. Yes we are survivors !
Life is beautiful !
Elizabeth:)
